Personal Development

relax!

‘Your ability to generate power is directly proportional to your ability to relax.’ – David Allen

‘Relax!’ is probably one of my most-used word. Every photoshoot will include this word. Relaxed model is a good model. Tensed up model brings unnecessary tension to the shoot that makes it too stiff.

Martial Arts

In martial arts world that I live in, relaxation is one of the hardest state to achieve. Only the masters are able to relax in dire situation and fight calmly. Just try to fight a master and a beginner, you will see the difference. I still remember how my Taekwondo master whoop my ass without even trying. He was relaxing and I was breathing so heavily.

When I first started to learn an ancient art called ‘Hung-gar’, my mentor told me that I really need to learn to relax. I don’t really understand why. Why should I relax when I’m trying to break someone’s ribs? After years of training and (sometimes helping) teaching beginners, I started to understand. Beginners always tenses up. Now I’m the one to tell them to relax.

You can’t generate power if you are stiff. The Chinese says that your chi isn’t flowing properly if you are stiff. You need to relax and feel the chi, then in a single instant drive all that chi into a single point of attack. With the help of tensing up in the right moment, you deliver maximum impact in a short burst of move.

Chinese Kung Fu isn’t fully dependent on the long swing of western clothesline and hook. It is compact, precise, deadly, and timely. Sort of like a jab with the power of your whole body-weight behind it.

If you are stiff, you are slow. If you are slow, you are weak.
If you relax, you are fast. If you are fast, you are strong.

Photography

Do you think that pros relax when they are shooting big movie stars for a new poster?

I’m damn sure they are. They might be thinking about the light set-up, the composition, the pose, the background, and god knows what. But they are doing it with ease. Their mind is flowing freely. Years of practice doesn’t lie.

When I just started in photography, I always need to spend lots of time working out the poses, lights, and composition. Sometimes I forget all about those things and just shoot with my instinct. Guess what? When you are shooting with instinct, you are relaxing. The photos almost always turns out better when you are relaxing. Now that I get better, I operate on instinct more that I think. I’m by no means expert, but I can feel the improvement.

If you watch this, you will understand.

Everyday Life

I get this quote from David Allen’s book ‘Getting Things Done’.

Most people don’t know how to relax. They are overwhelmed by stress and work. Even though in order to be happy and fulfilled, you need to relax.

So, try to relax more!

Who? What? Where? When? Where? How?

“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.”

~ Erica Jong

Good day folks. We are always told we can be whatever we want to be; we can do whatever we set our mind to do. But really, is that the most important thing? I beg to differ. For me, the foremost important thing is to know yourself first. And the best way to know something is to ask questions, lots of questions.

1. What do you really want to achieve?

Life is short. Too short to do everything that we ever wanted. We have limited time and there is not a single damn thing we can do about it. Set your goal, be specific. The key to answer this question is really to find your passion. What is your passion? Do you want to be a musician, olympic medalist, or simply mastering five languages? Discover your passion and pursue it.

2. Should you change yourself?

Take a look at yourself, take a look at your daily activities, your habits. Do you think your habit, your job and environment will bring you closer to what do you want to achieve? Human is creature of habit. We will be comfortable at what we do everyday. If your habit doesn’t bring you closer to your goal, maybe its time to change it and pick up better habit.

3. What is the positive side about this event?

One key to happiness is to ALWAYS look at positive side of things. You will be amazed how wonderful this principle will work for you. Take rain for example, people who planned to go to the beach will be disappointed at the rainy day, but farmers will be struck with happiness. Remember that there are always two side of a coin. Your choice dictates your point of view. People who always look at the good side tends to have happier life.

4. Are you hanging out with the right people?

We human are vulnerable to peer pressure. If majority of your friends smokes, you will be pressured to smoke with them. This is just a fact of life. Sure, you might think that your resolve is strong, but you aren’t doing yourself any favor if you hang out with the wrong crowd. Ditch your bad “friends” and look for better ones that will support you instead of drag you down with them.

5. Have you done enough to improve myself?

Have you, or is there something more you want to do? People have this innate habit to linger and be content at status quo, but deep down, they want change. If you feel you aren’t doing yourself a favor by watching the serial drama on television, or reading those cheap novels, maybe you should not do it in the first place.

6. Are you happy with who you are today?

This is a tricky question. Everybody wants to be happy. But according to the principle that “There is always room for improvement” we should never be happy with who we are today. The answer depends on you. Do you favor growth or decay?

7. Are you satisfied with your sex appeal?

Why do I ask you this? Because human have been conditioned by millions of years of evolution to relate their self-worth to their sex appeal. Pretty girls will be naturally more confident that their not-so-pretty counterpart. Rich men will be more confident than the poor men. If you feel you have not done enough exercise to stay in shape, maybe its time to hit the gym or stop eating the junk food. Trust me, your self-worth will increase exponentially when you work on your sex appeal.

8. How much do you want to have?

I suppose in this case there is no such things on having things too much or too little, but it’s more on how badly you really need it. Remember that just like our physique, our mental also have a capacity. That is why you can concentrate better, feel better, and have more focus in a clean environment. Imagine a room where it is filled with stuffed toys, food packages, dirty plates, and overloaded rubbish bin; I really don’t think you can concentrate doing anything there, can’t you?

Having more than you need sometimes can slow you down. The key is to balance your needs and your desires.

9. What motivates you the most?

Is it fun? Or is it fear of failure? I write this blog because I love teaching and sharing knowledge with others. That is my primary blog writing motivation. I do martial arts because I love improving myself while learning to defend myself.

What makes you do the things you do?

10. What do you want to do now?

After answering that simple 9 questions, you should have a somewhat clear idea and sense of direction. Now remember that you can do whatever you set your mind to do. Where there is a will, there is a way.

Write down your goal on a piece of paper and stick it where you can see everyday. I stick mine on my iMac screen and the wall beside my desk. It will help you to remember where do you want to go.

Last Words

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